i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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