so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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