Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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