I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
