dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
