Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize