I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
