I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
