omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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