I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
