Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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