i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
