I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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