Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
