my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Damn victory sex feels great
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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