It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
