What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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