jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
