Your dad touched me again.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just invented taco cereal.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
