Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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