if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
