I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
