I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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