Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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