I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
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my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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