I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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