No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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