I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
