Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
