I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
