I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
PANTIES FOUND
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