If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
