I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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