I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm both gender and math confused
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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