this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
