Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
