i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
