So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
