I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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