I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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