i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
