i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I believe in your delicious
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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