I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
