the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
