So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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