You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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