he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
