happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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