We're facebook friends in real life
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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