Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
