Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
