No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
