what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
