doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
