She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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