you have to choose: penises or morals?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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