I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
