Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am spending my child support on dildos
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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