I hate your face
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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