So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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